The Milkman, Then and (maybe?) Now

Here's my riff of the day, thank you Good Weed, thank you Bored and Horny.

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You know what would be a fine old profession to revive during the Covid Plague? That of milkman.

The milkman was a staple feature of US life as late as the 60s. Your milkman had your house on his route, and he typically stopped by twice a week. He knew your family's general order, so many quarts of milk, so many of cream, etc. (Of course, there were considerably fewer dairy products to have to keep track of in those days, no one percent or two percent milk, etc...)

Anyway, word was that many milkmen also kept strings of bored horny housewives happy, and were generous with their own cream...

So, I propose that we gayify the profession and bring it back... and let's skip the cow this time.

Our milkman will be chosen for his zeal at milking men! And while the milkman of yesterday did not have to talk much on the job, the milkman of today will be known primarily for his oral skills. He might be short on product but he will be long on service.

On his route will be all those poor bastards sheltering in place. He will offer them relief. (Or he will let them offer HIM relief, depending on customer preference.)

We will limit each milkman to 10 stops a day, both so they don't get jaw cramps or feel overwhelmed, and also to be better able to spread the work around, as we are anticipating that a lot of guys might want this work - or even be willing to pay to do it !