A quick poll, 4/23/18

Those of you who have profiles/ accounts on both on line gay hookup and dating sites such as this one, bear 411, manhunt, etc, and also on gay hookup and dating cell phone apps like growlr, scruff, etc, I have two questions:

1. In which format, i.e. on-line site or phone app, do you encounter more flakiness, which I will define as no-shows, endless conversations that go nowhere, guys who respond to your two or three line messages with single words, guys into playing mind games, or just plain shitty attitude?

2. Which format has led to more actual meetings? (I am not interested in whether the meeting got you what you wanted, just if you were able to make a plan and the other guy showed up.)

(And if you think I am asking the wrong questions, tell me why please.)

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  • Flakes are very easy to weed out. If they don't want to hook-up then, fuck 'em. I'll go have fun with someone who does want to hook-up!

    I don't have Scruff, Grindr, Hornet, Adam4Adam or, any of the dating app's on my phone because I find them to be annoying! Seriously, my boss drives me crazy with text messages... I do have Kik installed on my phone because I don't want to give out my phone number.

    I prefer sites such as this and Silverdaddies, Doublelist!, FetLife because it provides the opportunity to write an actual message instead of an annoying ass "Hi", "Hey" or "Whats up?" Yeah well... Fuck off, I'm at work right now... It's the same deal with that stupid ass Facebook messenger app. Between the boss sending texts and everyone sending texts! I just want to throw my phone in the trash can!

    ~ A. J.
    LoneWolfe 07/07/2018 02:05 PM
  • You get flakiness on all sites and apps. I prefer the sites but I think the apps. are more direct and get more results. Better quality as far as what you are looking for on the sites however.
    buzbuz 05/14/2018 09:39 AM
  • 1. Im on bbrt, adamn4adam, silverdaddies, grindr, growlr, scruff. I get flakiness everywhere, on apps and websites. Even on BBRT which is all about hooking up NOW, guys flake on me. I had a guy on Adam4 tell me he was in the car and on his way, and then he never showed. He wrote me a couple days later telling me he fell asleep and wants to come over now.
    Uh, he fell asleep in his car? So full of crap.
    I started blocking people who flake on me.
    I have guys 2 miles away who message endlessly, but when I push to meet they cant do it, over and over. Then why the fuck you keep messaging me?
    I think its best to be direct and say what youre looking for and when you want to do it.
    I also now insist on getting a phone number so I can text in case im lost. If they're not willing to give a phone number then they will likely flake.

    2. I think its 50/50 online and apps. I got more bad hookups on apps because i play with guys only cuz theyre closer, but not that attracted to eachother. just out of convenience.
    On apps if you ignore someone they get more upset when you see them in person at a bar. Ive had guys say to my face they wrote to me on scruff and I didnt respond and they were insulted.
    hotmanofmen 04/27/2018 04:56 PM
  • 2 or 3 emails or texts back and forth after initial contact
    Enuf time to get cell numbers and arrange to meet
    I can usually get a feel for a person if I speak to them on the phone
    Not so much texting but hearing the voice
    If the emails become continuous and appear endless
    I tell them I dont think this is going to work and I move on
    OCal 04/26/2018 02:27 PM